Congratulations and God’s blessings to you on the announcement of your engagement. The priests and staff of Ss. Peter and Paul Church share your joy and are delighted that you will be celebrating the sacrament of marriage in this parish community. There will be much to do over the next year but with proper planning we will look forward to a lovely celebration of your love and commitment.

Marriage is a beautiful sacrament. Sacraments, as we remember from our childhood religious education classes, are outward signs instituted by Christ to give grace. The day you met was very important. The day you announced your engagement was likewise significant. However, the day you bring your friendship to the altar God will seal and strengthen your relationship thereby making you living images of His covenant with us here on Earth. The Church believes that one of the strongest images we have to exemplify how God loves, cares and deals with us is in the sacrament of marriage. In this sacrament a man and a woman become one in body, mind and spirit in a union that is permanent, exclusive and open to life. That’s precisely how God loves us: He made a permanent covenant with us meaning that He will never go back on His word. This exclusive covenant was made with us and no other life form. His love, life, and presence is life giving and nurturing. The Church considers marriage a means by which we can see Gods relationship with humanity in action.

If your love and commitment makes you ready to accept the responsibility of what the Church teaches about the dignity and sacredness of the sacrament of marriage then we are delighted to journey with you to the altar of God over the next several months. Sacraments are very special moments in the life of the Catholic and in the life of the whole church. In the Catholic Church it is not the blessing of the priest of deacon that makes the sacrament become a reality. It is the giving and receiving of the consent of the couple. Therefore the I do has to be something which comes as the result of much prayer, discernment and preparation. That’s where we come in. We are committed to help you prepare for this sacrament so that your wedding is truly the will of God and a fitting response to Him who has called you together.

Getting Started

The church takes the sacrament of marriage and preparation for it quite seriously. In asking the Church to witness your marriage you are also willing cooperate with its theology and protocol. The priest or deacon witnessing your wedding needs to know that you buy into what the Church teaches about marriage and commitment and that both the man and woman are free to marry in the Church. Therefore all wedding preparation begins with a formal sit down meeting with one of the priests on staff. No wedding will be put in our calendar until this meeting has taken place. Available dates are not given out via phone or email until this first meeting has occurred.

The bishops in the state of New Jersey ask that a couple wait a year from the time of the beginning of their engagement to the time of their wedding. Only a very good reason will permit us to negotiate this. Of course you want to feel comfortable with the priest or deacon witnessing your wedding but Fr. or Deacon needs to feel comfortable with you. During the engagement time the priest or deacon becomes a third party in your relationship journeying with you to the day you exchange vows at the altar. There will be at least three or four meetings with him before your wedding. This engagement time is very important and should be taken seriously. Its at this time that a couple truly begins to explore the other as a possible life partner and questions him/herself in the process. This time should not be rushed. It is important to get to know the other and ones self so as to know the gift you are presenting to your future spouse. Therefore: PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! There is no better wedding preparation than to get to know your God and the Church who will witness your vows. Participation at Sunday mass and especially receiving the sacrament of the Body and Blood of Jesus is most important during this time.

Recap

1. Make arrangements for your wedding one year in advance by calling or emailing Fr. Bob at pastor@spphoboken.com or Fr. Benny at frbennyspp@gmail.com
2. No dates will be placed in the Church calendar until you have first met with one of our priests.

Music In The Wedding Liturgy

Music can express for us the realities of our faith in a way in which words alone cannot. Music is an integral part of all of our worship. In the wedding liturgy, musics to assists us in prayer & expressing our beliefs in Christian married love in a joyful, sincere & dignified way. The music chosen will be sacred music to celebrate this sacred time. Popular music may find its place at another time in your day, such as at the wedding reception.

The Music Director of our parish, Louis Scarpa, will assist you in planning this aspect of the celebration. Prior to your wedding, he will contact you and invite you to attend a Planning Session for Wedding Music held at our church. He will assist you in finding a vocalist and other instrumentalists if you desire such. The music directors fee is $250.00 which includes:

• Planning Session
• Playing (and perhaps singing) at the wedding
• One rehearsal on the day of the wedding with any additional musicians
• *Addition rehearsals with musicians are $75.00.

The musicians do not attend the formal wedding rehearsal with the priests, bridal party et all. Please do not make any decisions regarding music and musicians without first speaking with the music director.

Please email Louis Scarpa immediately after your first meeting with one of our priests so that he can reserve your wedding date in his calendar.

Policies

Here are some helpful pieces of information which should assist you in preparing to celebrate your sacrament of marriage at Ss. Peter and Paul.

• Our weekend wedding schedule is as follows:
  • Friday afternoon and evening is flexible depending on what is already booked in the church.
  • Saturday morning between 9:00 and 10:00 am, Saturday afternoon 2:00 or 4:00 pm. (in 2009 weddings will be 1:30pm and 3:30pm)
  • Sunday afternoons at 3:30 or 4:00 pm.
• Rehearsals are booked around events already scheduled in the church. We have a first come first serve policy. You may want to book your rehearsal on your first appointment with one of the priests so as to avoid conflict with other church events or couples.
• We have a small parking lot which barely squeezes in 10 cars which is of course welcome to you for your rehearsal or wedding. There is a pay parking lot down the street. Many couples have been renting buses or vans for their guests in order to make traveling easier.
• The night before your wedding we will reserve the front of the church for Limousines. However after 12:00 noon it is considered legal parking even with cones present and the Hoboken Police Department may or may not tow the car.
• We all know that it is never easy coming in or out of Hoboken. However, please make every effort to stick to be on time for the rehearsal and wedding. There may be other events scheduled in the church and your tardiness may disturb that. A wedding mass that begins very late may be reduced in time to a ceremony or a ceremony may be reduced in time to just a pronunciation of vows at the altar. The groom should arrive at the Church a half hour before the wedding begins and the bride should be somewhere on Church property 15 minutes before so as to begin on time.
• Photographers and videographers are welcome in our church and to work during the ceremony. However, they can either make or distract others from the ceremony. They need to hear from you that you insist on respecting the reverence, solemnity and sacredness of what is happening in Church. As such, we try to maintain decorum and reverence in the Church at all times. Therefore, photographers and video people are not permitted in the sanctuary of the Church. Likewise, the sanctuary is not to become a photo studio for taking posed pictures after the wedding. Please let your video and/or photographer that it is highly inappropriate to expect you to pose once the mass or ceremony has begun. A professional will get the shots without distracting you from what you should be paying attention.
• Decorating the Church: Any and all kinds of flowers are more than welcome in the Church. Most couples order two arrangements. Normally, we never place anything on top of the altar except a unity candle if you choose to have one.  Due to safety reasons, we do cannot permit the use of aisle runners.
• We would appreciate if you did not throw anything inside or outside the Church. This includes flower pedals, rice etc.
• Stipends and donations:   We have set the Church stipend at $500 for registered Saints Peter and Paul parishioners, and $750 for non registered parishioners. We would be happy to negotiate this with anyone who may have difficulties making this payment. Priests and deacons do not get paid for weddings in our tradition hence a gift for him is not necessary but very much appreciated. We would appreciate the stipend at the time of the rehearsal. The music stipend falls under another category.
• A license from City Hall is most important. We cannot officiate at your wedding unless we have one from you. We would appreciate that at the rehearsal also. Blood tests are no longer needed in the State of New Jersey.
• The priests and staff at Sts. Peter and Paul want your wedding to primarily be a dignified and beautiful sacrament but likewise a reflection of who you are as a couple. Therefore, we like each couple to choose their own readings and prayers. We have books to assist you and will devote as much time as needed to make this happen.
• Finally, we ask that you respect and make copies of these policies and procedures and share with your photographer/videographer, florist, wedding coordinator or whomever is directly involved with your wedding planning. This will facilitate responsible planning and avoid any possible confrontations on the day of your wedding.

Peace and blessings to you as continue with your marriage preparation. We hope you can appreciate our set of polices and procedures and not just see them as do’s and dont’s. We are committed to making your sacrament of marriage beautiful and meaningful for you and your guests and respectful to our rich heritage as Catholic Christians. Please be assured of our assistance and prayers as we journey together to the altar of God on your wedding day.